So shut your mouth and watch my lips..
Posted by xmaelstromx at 07:57 PM on March 21, 2006.
After a long hiatus, I'm back.
The last couple of months have shown a complete re-design of my life. Being dragged out of my comfort zone into pastures anew. Thankfully, many things are going well so the adaptation is pretty smooth so far.
I'm getting by. Slowly, but surely.
Sometimes, I wish I was back in Melbourne. Its not my fault that I sound like thousands of others who whine about how good life in Melbourne was. The irony of that was that Melbourne was never particularly good to me. There were so many nights when weakness and temptation grabbed a hold of me and laughed in my face. Sometimes it was plain miserable. Some days went by like minutes.
But for me, I guess the biggest regret was not indulging and allowing myself to enjoy myself, as I did right before I came home. And there will always be a small piece of me that will be jealous when I see how good my friends have it over there. For now, at least. Just when things were picking up, I had to come back.
I believe everything happens for a reason. There's a reason why such a grand opportunity was flashed before my face when I already made my decision. There's a reason why I'm here, back in my comfort zone. I guess the least I can do is to make the most of it.
Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of things to be excited about. Being away from my family was very hard. Being away from the one I loved at the time was equally as tough. So now that I'm home, I can rest easy in the thought that at least I will have my loved ones around me now. I will be more involved in their lives, and be able to care and be cared for. I lost one relationship because of that, and I'm not quite willing to lose another. I really don't do too well with long distance. I hate it. But for her, I will try.
A friend almost died last week. A friend's friend did. That was quite stunning news, albeit one that was too close to home. That's a little bit too much drama for my liking. Thankfully, my friend is okay. Amid drunken stupor, he had an accident and almost died. He stopped breathing for 4 hours. But through some miracle of god, he survived and came out of critical condition. God bless him.
The Japanese boy on other hand, wasn't so lucky.
His name was Ken. He took his life last Wednesday morning in the confines of his little room in the halls. I don't know him, but what I've seen, is the impact his passing has had on my friends. So many tears shed and sleep lost because of his actions. Why he chose to take his life is beyond me. Yes, I can relate if its about depression and loss of pride when you've failed to achieve your goals. But what I'll never understand is how frail his conviction to life was. Was life so meaningless that it was no longer worth living for?
For everything that you feel is wrong with your life, for every moment you've felt hard done by, there are many other things in your life to be thankful for. Treasure the good things you have in life and forget everything else. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Things have a way of working themselves out. You just have to be patient sometimes and ride out the hardships. Things will get better. They always do.
I wish I could have told him that and pretend that it would actually make a difference to him.
May his soul rest in peace.
This sounds like an awfully depressing entry, but in truth, I'm in a very good mood. But what I have learnt recently, is that life is simply too short to be spent hunkering over petty issues and things that just dont matter. There is so much more to live for. So much more to be happy about. The possibilities that every day has to offer us, ... is endless.
Certainly, your life is what you make of it...
Currently listening to: Young Parisians feat Ben Lost - Jump The Next Train
Currently reading: Jeffrey Archer - False Impression
Currently watching: Lost Season 2
Currently feeling: contemplative
To touch the very pulse of the fire, with my bare unlidded eyes.
Posted by xmaelstromx at 06:20 AM on October 6, 2005.
The week's been rough to say the least. Alas, resolution draws nigh, hopefully bringing to a close the maelstrom of frustration and bitter disillusions.
Its time to wake up.
I have been sauntering aimlessly for too long. Emancipating myself from all that is good, clutching at half truths and whole lies. It is a tad disappointing when a once innocently beautiful emotion becomes so hideously tainted by lies and deception. The foul air reeks. It soaks and seeps.
The clouds outside are wispy, so gloriously whimsical. Bending, changing, twisting and capriciously enthralling. I gaze into the brightening sky and watch as silhouettes slowly fade and disappear into the light. Let the morn usher in a new day. All will be better. I struggle to hide the delight in my eye.
The Postal Service is excellent. They substantiate my apathetic state of abstraction as my mind meanders through pensive thoughts.
My, it is quite capable of such macabre machination.
Currently listening to: The Postal Service - There's Never Enough Time
Currently feeling: pensive
If the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too..
Posted by xmaelstromx at 05:49 AM on October 5, 2005.
And so, I traversed blog-land to find a new host. I was getting uncomfortable with the vehement nosy-parkering going on by various unknowns. Well, you jokers know who you are. If you wanted to read because you were genuinely interested in my life, then fine. You are crossing the line when your snooping results in a cesspool of gossip, and creates a source of unhappiness for some.
Shame on you.
Anyhow, welcome to my brand spank-ably new tabulas site. I like the layout and user-friendliness of the entry system. Have yet to explore the rest of the features though. Seems cool. The only problem I've encountered so far is the template editor. Its friggin' confusing for an IT-illiterate like myself. But otherwise, I like it.
I realize I've posted a generous estimate of THREE posts in the last month or so. In part, because of the reason mentioned above. It became rather unsettling actually. In any case, here I am again, fingers itching to type.
So here's what's been happening.
The highlight of my week was definitely the Switchfoot concert at the Hi-Fi Bar last Wednesday. The night started off slow, to the tune of a mind-numbingly long 3-hour wait. Shaun, Mukesh and I spent a couple of hours of just standing idly around, sandwiching the hour given to the opening band. The wait was tiring as fuck, I swear. Thankfully, I the groupies around me provided some much needed cheap entertainment. Ahh, the joys of secondary cam-whoring. No, not taking the pictures with them. But rather, being amused by them as they're taking photos. Hey. I could't help but feel a little tickled when they took a good 2 hours worth of photos of nothing but themselves and/or an empty stage.
** I was tempted to say 'half-empty' in reference of the equipment until I realized there's no such thing as 'half-empty'. Either its empty, or its filled. But for argument's sake, I won't call it a 'filled' stage because firstly it would sound silly. And secondly because there weren't any performers out there at the time. Damn you, George Carlin. **
Prettymess came out first. They're a Melbourne-based pop-rock band that opened for the previous Switchfoot gig in late-February. Not too shabby. Wasn't annoyed at all when I realized they played virtually the same set as the last time. Their material features a lot of loud, thwanging guitar riffs kept in check by simple melodies. Nothing too flash or technical, but it worked. Well, lets just say I liked them enough to buy their CD after the show. Turns out it was a 'pretty' decent purchase. Right now, I'm hooked on Leaving Look and All I Care About. Good stuff. After giving Greyscale Broadcast a run-through, I have to say that they're a much better live-band. I'm not entirely sure if thats a compliment though. Hmm.
The impatient mob would have rioted if Switchfoot came out any later than they did. I must have checked my watch at least 50 times. It just wasn't cool to keep their adoring crowd waiting for so long. But all was forgiven when they took the stage. Must say, the excitement was pretty intense for the relatively small crowd sardined into the small confines of the venue. The place simply erupted when Jon took the stage. Shaun, Mukesh and I were pumped. After all, we were standing about 6 feet from the stage at most. That some serious sweat-flingable distance.
The concert was awesome. They belted hit after hit, favourite after favourite. This Is Your Life, Meant To Live, Gone, Dare You To Move, Beautiful Letdown, Ammunition, More Than Fine, and a few songs from the new album that was unfamiliar with. I don't even remember the order because I was too busy enjoying it, soaking in the music which has become staple to my playlist for the last year or so. I was a tad disappointed they left out Redemption. Cursed my lack of foresight for not preparing a poster beforehand. I wanted Playing For Keeps so badly, even though I knew it was a mighty long shot. Hopefully I'll remember the next time they're down. One of the groupies got his Chem 6A, thanks to his sign. Lucky bastard.
The crowd was one of the best I've ever been part of. Almost everyone knew the words to all the songs, and Jon milked us dry. (yes, I'm aware of how wrong that sounds) He went mute so many times just to let us enjoy our mass karaoke session. No wonder he loves Melbourne so much. How can you not love a crowd that knows the words to your songs. The crowd went absolutely ballistic during the compulsory encore. The band didn't even wait 5 minutes to come storming back out. Stars was an excellent way to close the show. Simply brilliant.
Fun facts.
* Switchfoot has played over 400 concerts in the last 2 years.
* Their new album Nothing Is Sound was actually recorded on the road, in between their non-stop touring schedule. They would set up their equipment in the dressing room every night and record between interviews, soundchecks and shows. Talk about dedication. I guess that answers your question, Shaun.
* “Happy is a Yuppie Word” takes its title from a 1991 interview Bob Dylan gave to Rolling Stone in which Dylan was asked, on the occasion of his 50th birthday, if he was happy. Dylan replied, “Those are yuppie words, happiness and unhappiness. It’s not happiness or unhappiness, it’s blessed or unblessed.”
The rest of my week was spent stressing over an assignment and cursing the group members who left me in such a lurch at the most inopportune time. Thank God for the help and support I received when I was so frazzled. Each and everyone of you helped heaps. Especially my baby who has been so unbelievably patient and understanding.
Funny thing that. I almost didn't make it in time, victim of Murphy's Law. And whatever that could have gone wrong did go wrong. Messed-up paper margins, cranky printers, closed student services, empty staplers.
In my mind I was hoping, 'Please don't,.. not now...'
But in reality, it was going 'Oh yes,.. slapshot biatch...'
Happier thoughts during the week include the arrival of 2 articles in the mail. Firstly, I got my long-awaited South cd, With The Tides. I'm quite happy with it, although I can't be half-arsed to write another review. Standouts include Motiveless Crime, Mend These Trends, Loosen Your Hold, 9 Lives and Paint The Silence. Just for those who doubt their indie credentials, the last couple of songs have already featured in the O.C. soundtrack. Once again, I'm not sure how thats important. Well it is, because the O.C. has the BEST collection of obscure indie music on TV. There's no need for argument. You know I'm right.
I want Death Cab's new album, Plans. If Soul Meetss Body isn't enough to convince you, then shoot yourself in the head for being so melodically inept. Its friggin' awesome. Melodies softly soaring through my atmosphere indeed. They are such geeks, but how do 
they produce such great work?? In the meanwhile, I've been listening to a lot of other indie music. The Elbows, The Doves, Interpol and The Arcade Fire (I'm bored with 'The', give me something new, like The End. Heh). Nothing caught my attention at first. I like Not A Job by The Elbows. Its very good. Now I'm looping a couple of songs by The Arcade Fire called Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out) and Rebellion. I don't know why, but the word that first comes to mind is 'spunky'. Impossibly hooked on the main riff for the first song. So bloody catchy. The rest of their stuff is shit though. Will give the rest of the bands a more thorough listen during the weekend. Expect reviews next week.
I'll add direct download links soon enough. Be patient.
I'm off to lounge on my bed to read my Jeffrey Archer book. Decided to stay up a couple more hours for breakfast, so I might as well do something useful since I have nothing better to do (*ahem*presentation*ahem*). I'm occasionally appalled by my frequent displays of spontaneity. But then again, I'm used to it.
Later.
Currently listening to: Arcade Fire - Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out)
Currently reading: Jeffrey Archer - Not A Penny More, Not A Penny Less
Currently feeling: apathetic
